Tomorrow is my second to last day at work. I'm supposed to be asleep by now, but I'm not tired. I need my eight hours, but I know it won't be possible.
Is everyone as happy as they appear to be?
I don't think so. I had decent day. I woke up at 4PM, watched television, and had lunch/dinner. I didn't get to work on my story at all and I'm thankful that Chris agreed to proofread "When Yesterday Is Gone".
My mother expects a spotless house. And my brother isn't making it easy. They come home tomorrow morning but nothing is done and as I had already said, I should be asleep by now. So, that has basically put me in a bad mood tonight.
When my parents come home, everything will be back to the way it was: arguing, isolating ourselves, etc. All that drama that I really don't want to face.
Something that I have realized recently is that it is so much easier to talk to people you dont really know very well. For instance, my managers. Or Chris. And sometimes, Mona, when we used to talk. Simple words of kindness cheer me up. But when reality sets in on Sunday, I don't know if a few words from Chris or anyone else for that matter, will make me feel better.
I think it's up to myself in some ways. I mean, I can't expect people to just make me happy. They have their own lives, their own problems, and their own loved ones to tend to. It's not fair for them if I throw my problems at them and make myself a burden to them.
But the truth is, I can't. I cannot stand on my own two feet right now. I have no anchor, no rock, no nothing. But I need to find something before I lose more people, like I had lost Melly, Aimee, and Jacob. I'm pushy and I don't mean to be that way. But I already know the outcome because people always leave.
Still not tired, but I'm going to try and fall asleep. Goodnight
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