The ache hurts more, as each day passes. I don't know how I'll cope with this feeling for the next 4 years. I'm suffocating as it is. What's 4 more years going to feel like? There's a fine line between feeling numb and feeling a burning pain in your heart. Some days, I don't know what's worse.
Every day, I visit L.A. on Google Earth. I know I shouldn't, because it just makes me feel worse. It makes me hate Massachusetts and Metro Boston even more. Like a strong dislike of my home city.
Is it possible to miss a place you've never been to? I asked my co-worker that question and she answered, "If you dream about it." And I really do. And it aches and hurts and burns and I want the colors of the L.A. sunset to wash away the pain.
Ah, this truly sucks. I've tried a lot of things to get this whole L.A. thing out of mind. I've tried music, drawing, The Sims, and some television shows. But nothing has seemed to work.
The one thing left I want to try is writing. I could back into writing. I have a few stories. So, I'll try and work on one of them to get my mind off of L.A.
On a lighter note, next weekend is supposed to be a blast. Saturday, me, my cousin, my bro's girlfriend, and my sister's fiance's best woman are getting fitted for our bridesmaid dresses. And then on Sunday, we're having a combination birthday party for Kevin, Tim, and Billy. Really stoked.
One upside of the moment. For now.
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