I'm in a weird mood right now.

I need to get away. Next summer cannot come any sooner. I need fresh air. I need new faces. I need so much right now and none of it is here.

I'm surprised that no one is trying to make me stay. It's like, they understand. They just know. They know I need to find peace. It's a good feeling, to know that deep down, people sort of understand what I need to do and why I need to do it.

During my first session today, all I did was laugh out of nervousness. I told her my goals. We didn't have much time to talk.

But even she knew. She had a gut feeling that I was unhappy.

And guess what. I'm spending Valentine's Day in a session with her. How fucking lovely. I'm just so messed up and broken. I want to skip it but I know I can't.

In a few weeks, I'll have health insurance. I'm going to get real professional help. I need to stop cutting.