I am truly happy that my family and friends are happy. I'm happy for them. I love that my sister married her best friend. I'm happy that my brother's life revolves around his son. I'm happy that Dan and Woody have figured out their careers and are generally happy with life. I'm glad that Kayla is living life for herself and is just having fun like a normal 21 year old should.
I love all of them so much in so many different ways. But I just can't do this. I'm so sorry but I really can't. No amount of cigarettes, cuts, songs, drawings, laughter, energy drinks, phone calls, alcohol, hugs, or kisses on the forehead can make this better.
I am so fucking dead inside and ironically, it's still killing me. Please, I just need someone or something to make all of this motherfucking pain go awayyy.
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