I know I started a new blog, but writing there didn't feel right. I don't know why. It's like I have writers' block when I write on the other blog.
Just when I thought I was getting better, I realize that I'm not even close. The finish line is nowhere in sight.
What will it take to get there? Friends, family, laughter, and lots of tears.
But I'm so fucking afraid. I'm afraid that people will constantly watch me. Ask me all these questions every day. Treat me like a child. Whisper. Call family members to "fill them in".
I know my dad's office is like high school, especially since the company is owned by him and his siblings. There's whispering and gossip among everyone. I can just see it now. The company parties, weddings, holiday dinners, people talking about me.
I'm just so so so scared. I cannot explain how fucking scared I am. I feel so weak. I feel like a baby.
I'm grasping for air for Christ's sake. See, this is ridiculous. I have 3 people worrying about me. That's too many people. I shouldn't have told anyone. It was selfish of me to share my secret.
I fucking hate this. There's no easy way out of this one, is there?
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