Okay, I really can't do this. I really really can't. I'm having a panic attack here. What the fuck is going on??
HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN. Seriously, how did it get this far? How did it get THIS bad? Where was the pivotal turning point in my life that made me start this?
I remember my childhood like it was yesterday. Playing Hot Lava with Chris and Ryan. Super Soaker water guns. Salting slugs. Climbing big rocks. Digging for worms. Going home when the streetlights came on.
Never in a million fucking years did I see this coming. Talk about being fucking blindsided.
I don't know what to do. I mean, I do. But I'm fucking scared shitless. I can't do this. I cannot simply do this on my own. Fucking help me.
It's like, I'm not even here. Like I have no control over myself anymore. I'm scared.
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