^^I want to inherit his view of life. ^^I feel different. I wouldn't call it careless or reckless. I'm not going to say that I don't give a fuck, because I do. But I am carefree. I'm letting everything go, one thing and one day at a time. I'm letting go of the things that trap me inside my head. I'm letting go of the things that poison my heart. Things that make me worry. Things that make me nervous. Things that piss me off. I'm just letting go.
Bit by bit, day by day, I am letting go of little things. I'm letting go of things I can't control. i'm letting go of insecurity. I'm letting go of just... everything. I can't explain it. I'm not going to be uptight anymore.
I'm going with the flow. I'm rollin' with the punches. Whatever happens, happens. You know? If I fail a test, then so be it. If I smoke too much, then so be it. If I miss the bus, then I'll be late. Whatever.
2012 is going to so fucking different. I'm going to change. A lot of shit is going to change. I'm going to be different. Hopefully, I will soon find the old me, that missing girl I keep talking about. She and I will be reunited. We will conquer the world.
I am so fucking broken inside but I know that I'm going to make it out alive. I just have so much to do that it's overwhelming. But like I said, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
I have no choice but to rise above the negativity and cruelty. I have to be good again. I have to find beauty in everything again. I have to laugh at silly things again. I feel like I have to learn how to walk and talk all over again.
But I can do this. I have to.
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