Mona, Gisela, Jacob, and Chris. Four people who changed my life. How? They were strangers who turned into friends. And each of them taught me a lesson before passing through. Lessons I'll never forget. They're people I'll never forget. I think of them from time to time.
Mona taught me that love knows no limits and sometimes, in order to find yourself, you need to escape the place you feel safest.
Gisela taught me that inner beauty is what matters. She also taught me that life is too short to worry about the small things.
Jacob taught me that there's enough of God's love to go around. That God does not judge and will alwaysalwaysalways forgive.
Chris taught me that all dreams are possible, no matter how big or small. He taught me that comparing myself to other people won't do me any good. As long as I'm good enough for myself.
They meant to enter my life, I just know it. They did what they were sent to do, and then they left. Is it sad? I guess it's just bittersweet, you know? I vividly remember having coffee and reading magazines with Gisela on the pier in the morning. We laughed all day.
I remember when I started noticing the "pattern", and I would cry and beg God to let these people stay. I would always say "Please, not this one. Not this time."
All four of those people meant something to me. They each pulled me through a different stage in my life. And they'd leave. And I'd cry again and say "What are you doing? No! I need them! Fucking stop it!"
I miss Mona the most. I met her when I was 17. I was lost and confused and she told me everything real. She told me that I will belong somewhere someday. She told me that I needed to escape. She told me that it will get better.
She would be proud if she saw me today. That's what I keep telling myself. Jacob and Chris would be too. And if Gisela were here, she'd still tell me to "lighten up, Molly!" I miss her voice and her Hispanic accent. I miss Jacob's words of wisdom. I miss all of them so much. I hope they haven't forgotten me.
I'm still learning these lessons, so I'm confused as to why they're gone. Aren't they supposed to stay until I finally get it? Like, when their job is done, they leave? But they left before even seeing the finished product, the improved me.
These people didn't just say good-bye. They never officially left. Mona lost contact. Gisela's phone number got disconnected and she doesn't do the social networking thing. Jacob and Chris lost contact too.
I truly believe in this pattern and it sucks. I'm going to break the cycle if it's the last thing I do.
So, Mona, Gisela, Jacob, and Chris, thank you for the changes you made in my life. I'm stronger and bolder because of all of you. I see things in a different light now. I cannot thank you enough for molding me into the person I am today. I will never ever forget you and I think of you every single day.
Maybe one day, if fate should roll its dice, our paths will cross again.
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