On The Other Side of The World.

Dear Susan,

Hi. I miss you. Even though I can't remember you, I miss you with all my heart. I don't dream about you enough. Maybe once or twice a year. I miss seeing your face in my dreams. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.

Mom, you know what i aim to be? I aim to be as strong as you. You are the strongest person I know and I will love you forever for that. I'm so so sorry if I'm letting you down right now. It's the last thing I want to do. Believe me, Mom, I'm trying.

I think at this moment, you would be a bit proud because I am becoming strong like you. Your love was strong and fierce on that Thursday in March. Did I cry when you put me in a stranger's arms? Did you cry too? When you walked away from your crying newborn, did you look back?

I wish you were here, with me. I wish we could spend time together. I could show you Boston. You would love it. It's a beautiful city. I wish we could do regular mother/daughter things like go shopping or get our nails done together. It's the little things I want. I want to relive all of my childhood memories with you. I wished that you could have walked me to school and drop me off at the classroom door when I was in Kindergarten. I wish you held my hand as we crossed the street. I wish you could have pulled out the splinters I used to get from playing outside. I wish you could gently place a band-aid on my skinned knees when my dog dragged me on the pavement. I wish we had done a lot of things together. But I'm still young, and I know you are too. And there's still time. I'll do everything in my power to find you. Because I miss you and the waiting is killing me.

Mom, I think about your strength and love every single day. I'm working hard so that your decision was worth it. I will not let you down, I promise. You will not be disappointed, I will make sure of it.

I think about you. A lot. I think about the little things like if you're having a bad day at work, if you went to the market for ingredients for dinner, or if you went to bed early because you were tired. I often wonder if you had other children. If you did, they're awfully lucky to have you in their lives. I would give anything to be able to just give you a hug and thank you.

Thank you for giving me a chance at a good life. I love you. So much.

Love,

Molly