Hopefully, 5 years from now, I can come back here and say "Wow, look at how far I've come."
Hopefully, I won't be broken anymore, 5 years from now. Hopefully, I won't cry as often. Hopefully, I'll have close friends that I can call "family". Hopefully, I'll be reunited with the old me, the lost girl, the girl in the MISSING posters. You remember her, right? Hopefully I find her. And when I do, she'll have the same crooked smile I remember.
I cried again last night. I know life is unfair, but this is fucking ridiculous.
Is my wall of protection still up? Yeah. And it's standing strong.
I'm on a quest now. To find this girl I've been talking about. The one with the loud laugh. The one who wore bright colors. The one who was carefree. The one who loved everything. The one who loved to hug everyone. The one who never worried. The one who lived in the moment. Yeah, I'm gonna find her.
To sum up the entries...
I miss me. I've built a wall of protection. There is only so much I'll share with people. Everyone is leaving. No one cares. Ever. I am not supposed to share my problems. It's not fair to them. Plus, they A: don't care or B: can't handle it. I'm alone. I know that now. Only I can do this alone. This is my pain and my fight. It's me against the monsters.
When I graduate, I'm going to get a good job. I'm going to save up for my escape. And you know what? Most people won't even notice I'm gone. The people I went to high school with, the people I talk to only a few times a year, they won't notice. But this is for the best. I need to get out of here.
People are not meant to wander through life alone. So, where does that leave me?
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